Grapes in France

I love grapes. However, the French do not see the need to remove the seeds before selling them in the stores. Therefore, almost all of the grapes here are seedy grapes. Yuck! I have been spoiled all of my life with seedless grapes. I hate the idea of having to spit out a pit like sunflower seeds on a baseball field.
This afternoon, Catherine dropped off Michael and me in Arras. After buying an adorable pair of boots and browsing the bookstore, we walked into a Monoprix all-purpose store. I immediately headed to the grocery section to search for pureed pumpkin. I have been wanting to try to make a pumpkin cheesecake for the past few days. I searched the aisles in vain. Finally, I decided to look in the fresh fruit section, resigned to make the puree myself. While I did not find a pumpkin there, I stumbled upon SEEDLESS GRAPES! I ate one, the sweet juice bursting in my mouth. I chewed through my first green, fleshy goodness warily, certain that a pit would jump out at me and crunch between my teeth. The package had not lied to me; I had truly found seedless grapes! I cannot remember the last time I felt this much excitement towards fruit. I ate almost two pounds and five Euro's worth of them!

Mon Bulletin Scolaire?

So, since I do not actively partake in the quiz-taking except on occasion or D.S.-taking ever, it surprised me last night when Sabine called to tell me that my bulletin du 1er trimestre (report card for the first trimester) had arrived in the mail.
As I had predicted, not all of my teachers graded me. However, adding together all of the marks that I did receive, I have the highest average in my class!
Voila, the grades that I earned plus the teachers' notes: (REMEMBER: THESE GRADES ARE OUT OF 20, NOT 100!)

FRANCAIS: My average-14
class average-12
class min-8,6
class max-15,4
Madison est assidue en cours. (Madison is assiduous in class.)
HISTOIRE-GEO: My average-13
class average-12
class min-9,2
class max-16,2
Eleve attentive et agreable, qui intervient volontiers a l'oral lorsqu'elle est sollicitee. (She is an attentive and pleasant student who intervenes willingly when solicited.)
ESPAGNOL: My average-17,8
class average-14,6
class min-12,5
class max-17,8
Bon niveau de langue. (Good level of the language.)
ITALIEN: My average-19
class average-17,5
class min-16
class max-19
Madison travaille avec serieux et regularite. Tres bons resultats. (Madison works with seriousness and regularity. Very good results)
E.P.S (PE): My average-12,8
class average-14
class min-7,3
class max-19,5
Niveau satisfaisant lors de ce cycle de Tennis de Table reflet d'un travail regulier. (Satisfactory level during this round of table tennis as a reflection of regular work.)
GENERAL AVERAGE: My average-14,9
class average-12,2
class min-9,9
class max-14,9
Madison s'est rapidement integree a la classe et au lycee. C'est une eleve attentive et agreable qui s'interesse a toutes les disciplines et s'investit a l'oral. (Madison has quickly integrated herself in the class and in the school. She is a pleasant and attentive pupil who is interested in al disciplines and has invested herself speaking-wise.)

Just Call Me Julia Child!

Today, Catherine wished me to make a cake of some sort. At first I thought that I wanted them to try Zucchini Bread, since they had liked my Carrot Cake so much. However, when I thought about it, I decided against it because I wanted to make a cake with a topping. Still, I did not know all of the ingredients immediately available to me, so I ended up choosing to bake a Coffee Cake because I knew that I had seen all of the elements I needed in the cupboard.
After I had started that, I notice that the refrigerator contained an obscenely large amount of eggs. So, I decided to quench my craving and make Egg Nog!
I was on a roll!
Once I had removed the Coffee Cake from the oven and shoved the Egg Nog in the refrigerator to chill, I relized that I had no desire to leave the kitchen. Consequently, I commited myself to yet another baking feat. I subsequently began and finished the Zucchini Bread, stuck it in the oven, and am currently waiting for the timer to ring.
To top off my cooking mood, I wore pearls and a lady bug apron, helping me to embrace the persona that is Julia Child!
Bon Appetit!

She Noses It

Catherine told a story last night about how she had an obsession with noses when her eldest, Anne, was born. Apparently Anne had practically no nose at all at the time. Now, she has the beautiful yet rather prominent Helou nose shared also by Nicolas and Franck. According to Catherine, I have a fairly equilibrated nose.
Dinner conversations can include the most interesting and random of topics!

Predictability

Like clockwork, the gastro came again last night. I think it is my fate to get sick as often as possible while I am here in France. This is the fifth time that I have had this stomach bug in four months.
While not the most upbeat of subjects, I think I'm going to start keeping a tally of all the times I fall ill.

Four Month Mark!

I cannot believe that today marks the fourth month of my being in France! Time flies so quickly! I have already been here one third of a year!

Marrons Roasted on an Open Fire

Familiarity is always a good thing at Christmasttime! For appetizers we ate a salad, fois gras, and figs paired with a sweet Bordeaux white wine. While that does not relate at all to a traditional American Christmas meal, it was followed with turkey, stuffing, green beans, sweet potatoes, and chestnuts! While I enjoyed last night's seafood platter, I'm glad that they still know about holiday comfort foods. As usual, we finished the meal with cheese and cake. Today the cakes included a lemony buche de noel (yule log) and a home-made vanilla cake layered with chocolate chestnut icing. I think I died and went to Heaven. On the other hand, it is good that New Year's is just around the corner because it's about time for some major resolutions!

I've Been Dreaming of a White Christmas

After last night's late meal, I was surprised to discover that at nine o'clock this morning, I was the last person awake in the house! Even in France, I love Christmas morning! The little children all opened their presents early, and Garence traipsed all around the house in her new pink princess dress while Emmanuel played with his pirate ship. Laslo, on the other hand, had a stomach bug, so she didn't have quite so much Christmas cheer as the others.
With colorful torn wrapping paper strewn all over the floor, it felt like a true Christmas. The biggest difference that I noticed this morning was that instead of carols playing on the boom-box, we were surrounded by the upbeat melody of Salsa!

Last "Night's" Dinner

Dinner did not start last night until after eleven o'clock pm. What did we do beforehand, you might ask? Why, we enjoyed the aperatif, of course! This included a pata negra (This is a dried leg of pig from Spain that is apparently the best cured ham in the entire world and costs at least 250 Euros), cheese souffles, mini sausages, and Dom Perignon! Normally I don't drink alcohol with my host family, but Dave insisted that I had to truly experience the French culture, so I had a glass of Dom and then a taste of a red Bordeaux at dinner.
With dinner we had shrimp, crab, lobster, and some other type of mystery shelled sea creature. For me, it was a very unorthodox Christmas meal, but it still tasted delicious!
I had made a carrot cake earlier that day with a lemon-zest cream cheese icing. We ate it for dessert with an apple crumble and it was a huge success! I explained how in America we also eat it for breakfast, so I have a feeling that I will be making it rather often.
Since we started so late, dinner did not finish until almost three in the morning! We ate most of the meal today rather than yesterday!

La Grande Famille Helou

Franck's side of the family started arriving yesterday, and today the entire crowd has livened the atmosphere. Christmas is truly in the air.
Amongst the members of the family we have:

Tonton (Great Uncle) Andre: He lived in Argentina for fifteen years, married an Argentinian woman, and had a daughter, Priscilla, whose first language is Spanish. He also is the secretary of his local Rotary club. Today at lunch he accidentally opened a wine from 1975! Oopsie daisy!
Mami (Grandmother) Arlette: Franck's mother, she lives in Paris and was the first to arrive around noon yesterday. She is a wonderful cook!
Corinne and Olivier: Corinne is Arlette's daughter and Franck's sister. She and her boyfriend Olivier differ from the rest of the Helou adults in that they drink no alcohol at all.
Pauline and David: They have a daughter named Garence and a son named Emmanuel and are expecting their third! Amazingly, they can handle the hectic holidays quite well because they are moving houses on Monday.
Priscilla and Dave: They have a daughter named Laslo. They chose that particular name because it can be pronounced in French, Spanish, and English. Dave is a Californian surfer and Priscilla is a doctor. They also have a giant white dog that resembles a wolf who is named Atka after a common Inuit appelation.

All of the children are adorably under the age of four! I have not surprisingly spent most of the time so far talking to Dave; I'm giving my translating mind a break. The great thing about that is that now I have an invitation to the south of France to visit them for a week in the spring!

Midnight Mass at 7h00

Tonight we went to the Christmas mass. It was supposed to be at midnight. However, in France there are not enough pastors for all of the churches. So, they held it at seven o'clock instead. It was a lovely service. The majority of it, in fact, was singing. The pastor only spoke for about ten to fifteen minutes in total compared to the hour we stood there. It was interesting to hear some of the typical Christmas songs that I hear each year sung in French. They did add some new songs to the repetoire, though. At the end of the mass, I noticed the former Directeur of Saint Paul's, who is also a member of my Rotary club, so I wished him a Merry Christmas.

Beaubourg

This morning Nicolas and I went to the Centre Pompidou, a museum of modern art. The first exposition we saw had a feminism edge to it. All this meant to me was that women were allowed to take pornographic pictures and videos of themselves and call it art. Not all of the exhibition was vulgar, though, and there was one picture of a landscape that I actually thought was quite lovely (but in my mind it was not modern art at all). The second exposition presented art by Arman, a woman who turns trash into masterpieces. Some of her work look really interesting for junk. We then entered the gallery that I understood the least of all. De Stijl and Piet Mondrian painted colored-in squares... In the last gallery, Gabriel Orozco had made the most adorable car. It fits two people; one person can sit in the front and the other in the back. It is silver and long, and it looks so abstract car-wise that I couldn't help but laugh at it.
All in all, I surprisingly enjoyed my time looking at modern art, despite the fact that I largely prefer impressionism and cannot grasp the concept of most contemporary works.

Tuesday

Monday night, Nicolas and I took the five o'clock TGV (Train a Grand Vitesse) to Paris! We arrived an hour later when we headed to Anne's apartment in the tenth arrondissement. Once we dropped off our bags, I followed Nicolas onto the metro, and we arrived at Notre Dame. From there we walked around for half an hour or so and then headed back to get a good night's sleep.
We had a rather late start yesterday morning at around ten. So, we headed over to Les Halles, browsed for a bit, and met Franck for lunch. After lunch I pretty much just trailed behind Nicolas like a dog. All I know is that we spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the Quartier Latin, admiring beautiful architecture. I have no clue what I saw for the most part, I just know that it was all beautiful. I don't even mind that I don't know because I was just so overjoyed to be in Paris!
When darkness fell, Nicolas and I took the metro to see the Eiffel Tower from a vantage point. Unfortunately, fog had settled in, so in the pictures I took, only the bottom half of the tower is visible. After that I had the choice to either go to Montmartre and see Paris from a view or to promenade around the Christmas market below the Eiffel Tower. I chose to go to see the Sacre Coeur because I had never been before, and who wouldn't want to see a great view of Paris?
We took the metro for a quarter of an hour. When we arrived at the foot of Montmartre, I looked up at what seemed like fifty sets of stairs leading straight up. Let me just state that my legs were already tired from walking around all day long. Right beside those stairs, on the other hand, was a lift. As I looked yearningly towards the lift, Nicolas asked me if I had "the courage" to climb the stairs. Ugh! Of course if he words it that way, I have to answer in the affirmative! So, I climbed the 225 steps two at a time with a bounce! Well, my bounce left after the first set of stairs, but I have discovered that it is impossible for me to climb stairs any other way but two at a time. So, I reached the top exhausted and out of breath, but feigning boredom and comfort.
Of course, after coming all that way, the fog was too thick to see anything. I then decided to climb a few more steps to actually walk into Sacre Coeur, the church. Oh my goodness, if I thought the facade looked magnificent, the interieur was breathtaking. There was a mass going on, so we did not stay a long time, but I would certainly consider becoming a nun if I could worship there every day!
Because we both like old movies and neither of us had ever seen it before, Nicolas and I watched the movie Footloose. Unfortunately for him, the remote broke; consequently, he looked at the pretty pictures and I understood every single word of English spoken.

My First Mass

This morning I attended my first Catholic mass. The music was lovely as was the church in which it was sung! Besides the fact that they spoke in French, only about forty people showed up to the service, and the whole schpeal lasted forty-five minutes, I could not tell a large difference between the Catholic and Episcopal way of worship. To spice things up a bit, though, they added in the baptism of baby Mathilde to the ceremony! Leaving the building, we shook the preacher's hand, and I held Catherine's arm so we would not slip on the ice and snow as we left the building.

L'Attrapage du Froid

In France as soon as I enter a building, someone tells me to remove my jacket. Always freezing, I never do. I always hear the same story. "If you don't take off your coat now, you'll catch cold when you go back outside."
Here's a thought. Maybe if I take off my coat, I'll catch a cold anyways because it's just as chilly inside as it is outside!
Either way, I now have a cold. My throat hurts when I breath, my nose is running faster than Usain Bolt, and I have lymphnodes swollen to the size of grapefruits. On the bright side, I have discovered that I love warm milk and honey more than hot chocolate, Vick's Vapor Rub exists in France, and Catherine owns a wonderful contraption called an essential oil diffuser that makes me feel like I'm in a spa.

Repas de Classe

Yesterday at school we had a Christmas celebration. All this means is that I was allowed to skip Economy to listen to a preacher talk for thirty minutes and sing-along with teachers crooning Christmas carols that I had never heard before. I would call that time well spent!
For the last class of the day, Mme. DeGroote returned! She has been ill and absent from school for the past three weeks. We have all been so worried for her. It was good to see her face again. She looked almost 100%, so we invited her to come to our class dinner that night. She replied that she would make a short appearance with her three children.
So, I went home after that with Somaya. An hour and a few inches of snow later, we got back in the car and began the treacherous fifteen km drive. It had rained the day before, so the roads were so incredibly slick. We ran off of the road at least five times driving back to Lens. After about fifteen minutes into the car ride, Somaya received a text from Pauline, who had organized the dinner, reading that it was canceled due to the dangerous driving conditions. We decided that we did not want our teacher to show up to an empty restaurant, so we went anyway.
There were five of us in total: Camille, Maximilien, Romane, Somaya, and me. Despite the lack of a crowd, we still had a great time! After dinner we screeched along to karaoke music.

My Driver

Since I only have a half day of school on Thursdays because I do not participate in the four hour testing period in the morning, I went to the bus stop at noon. I stepped into an empty vehicle, an thirty minutes later I stepped out of an empty vehicle. I was the only living being, save the driver, who rode in the bus that route. Last week only two other people joined me. Now I know why there are so few bus stops in Vimy.
I don't actually have to be at school until 1h45, so I had a some time to kill when I arrived at 12h30. Last week, I bought an adorable pink coat and black bag. This week I went bargain hunting and bought a pair of pants, some underwear, and two shirts for a ridiculously low amount of money!

Suona Jingle Bells

Today in Italian, we sang Jingle Bells and listened to other Christmas songs. All of the songs to which we listened have original versions in English. Unfortunately, as soon as I heard the tunes, my head blocked any foreign language paroles and sang the songs in English.
This evening Catherine wanted to show me Arras, a town with amazing architecture similar to Lille. However, the plans changed and we just drove through the town square quickly. Not to worry, she told me that she will take me again next week!

Tribunal de Lens

This afternoon, all of the students in Premier who take Political Science spent the second half of the afternoon at the courthouse in Lens.
When we stepped onto the sidewalk in front of the courthouse's ordinary doors, I immediately noticed two scary looking men loitering near us. With 12o'clock shadows, torn jackets, hands black from dirt or oil, dirty motorbikes, and cigarettes dangling from their lips, they practically defined the word, "sketchy." Then I heard them speak. I don't know, maybe it's because I have grown up listening to guys talk about how French is a language for wimps, but it just does not intimidate me at all. Therefore, those two guys lost most of their frightening force when they opened their mouths. However, shortly after, a silent man wearing handcuffs passed by us, and the nervousness returned.
The trials were fascinating. We saw four or five. I must say, though, punishment in France seems to me not very severe. All of the cases we watched regarded either violent abuse or theft, and the highest penalty was a fine of 550 Euros to the man wearing handcuffs.

Le Livre des Coincidences

Today was a journee pedagogique, which means that I was liberated from school at noon. Normally, there are religious activities following the release of the students, but I do not know where to go to participate in them. So, Catherine picked me up from school early.
This past weekend while I translated for the Judo competition, the Helous went to visit family members in the south. I let Catherine use one of my suitcases. Unfortunately, The Secret, a book that I had planned to give to her for Christmas, was still in the pocket, and she saw it. On the bright side, she at least knows that she likes what she's getting.
This afternoon at lunch, we started talking about everything related to The Secret. I learned that Catherine really believes in the power of positive thinking and visualizing her goals. She added that she always gives thanks when something goes her way. On the other hand, she believes in fate. So if something goes opposite to the way she had planned, she feels that there is a reason behind it. She talked about how she does not sadden or anger easily because she acknowledges that there are always people in worse situations than she.
At the end of our talk, she lended me a book called The Book of Coincidences by Deepak Chopra. An example of a coincidence is thinking of someone you have not seen in a long time and him or her calling you shortly after.
Everything we discussed sounded so familiar. It all reflected either an act that I implement in my life, such as the power of positive thinking, or something that my mom believes and that we have discussed in-depth. It's comforting to know that Catherine relates at least a little bit more to the ideals of the background in which I was raised.

The Perfect American Accent

I had a man tell me today at the judo competition that I have a perfect American accent. I think he thought I was French when I was translating for him.
The judo competition needed me less today, so I spent a large portion of my nine hours with Somaya and two of her friends, Justine and Imanne. At one point, they tried to teach me to speak Ch'timi, the local patois. S becomes ch, ch becomes qu, and every phrase ends with, "hein."

Kumquats and Licorice

On Friday after school, I went home with Somaya, a friend in my class. At around six o'clock we headed over to a sporting complex in Harnes where we helped set up for the international judo competition the next day.
We arrived at the same building on Saturday at around eight in the morning. I should probably mention that my role here was to act as an interpreter since this was an international event. I translated the president of the judo club's introduction speech as my first task. I later read it aloud in English after he read his in French.
Over the next eleven hours, I translated disputes made by coaches, announcements, and information about injured players to the medical team on the sidelines.
At one point in the evening, I supervised a weigh-in room where the judo players came in and checked their size for the following day's competition. One group came in and started looking around. I asked them in French if they needed to weigh themselves. They gave me puzzled looks, and one boy looked at me and slowly said, "um, Anglais?" I, without hesitation, quickly changed from French to English, and the looks on their faces were priceless! They obviously did not expect me to be American and freaked out when they realized I wasn't French.
Once the competition had finished for the day, Somaya, her dad, Yusef (her ten year old brother) and I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. Overall, French Chinese food and American Chinese food do not differ greatly. I had an educational experience there, though. I learned that kumquats are nasty and taste like liquorice.
After dinner we went bowling. Yusef told me that he was an excellent bowler. I soon realized that bumpers were the keys to his success. I ended with a score of 117.

I'm Blue Dabba Dee Dabba Diii

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but whenever the sky is blue and clear here, my mood automatically lightens. Of course, I never have bad moods, I am just always extra happy on blue-sky-and -sun days!

The Clock Shop

Strangely, one of Andrea's piercings has closed, but the other has not. This afternoon, she decided to go to the jewler's and have him repierce it for her. Coming from a relatively large city, it surprised me to learn that the jewler here doubles as a clock maker. Unlike when I got my ears pierced (the second time) back in Charlotte, Andrea did not get to squeeze a stuffed mouse to make her feel better.

Quadratics and the Second Degree

For the past few weeks in math, we have been learning quadratics. Here, it is called the "second degre." The first day, when Mme. Chanteloube introduced the formulae, Marie asked me if I understood. Differently from the American system, the quadratic formula is split up into multiple phases here, making the task unnecessairly long to complete. However, since I learned it in eighth grade, I replied that I did and that I knew a song to accompany it. The teacher overheard me say this. Today, as a result, she asked me to sing it to the class. Thank goodness it's to the tune of Jingle Bells and isn't nearly so difficult as the Star Spangled Banner. I would have to say that the most embarassing aspect of my experience was falling off of the stand in the front of the room. I'm such a klutz!

Tonight, Catherine, Andrea, and I went to a Rotary meeting to tour La Francaise de Mechanique where workers put together car engines. Not personally being an avid car enthusiast, I joined Andrea in frozen boredom. At least now I know what I want to do for a living! (just kidding!)

By the way: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HERMANITO!

Half Day

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I don't actually participate in my English class here. I figured that I came here to learn French, so English would just be detrimental in that sense. Besides, Mme. Meilan speaks well and doesn't need me to help her teach. So, presenting the project today on which Camille, Florine, and I worked was the first time most of my classmates have heard me speak in full English sentences. I tried to speak slowly and enunciate. I even made an effort to pronounce all the "t"s (like in the word twenty) as "t"s rather than "d"s like the British do. Nevertheless, I doubt that any of my peers understood a word I said. Oh well! I can at least say that I entertained them for a few minutes.
After that Mme. DeGrotte and Mme. Braun were absent today, so my class got to leave school at noon!

Chez Madame Tussauds

This morning our group split in two. Franck and Nicolas went to visit the Sherlock Holmes museum. Catherine, Andrea, and I walked through Madame Tussauds' wax museum. We had a blast! I love wax museums, and now I have a picture of myself with the queen of England!
When we left to meet up with the guys, we passed a health food store. Without even thinking about it, I yelled out, "stop!" Catherine and Andrea turned around and followed me into the store. I went up to the cashier and asked her if she had ever heard of molasses. Amazingly, she showed me to the back of the store where she had quite a large stock! In the front of the store, they had displayed free samples of hard candy and ginger beer. Free samples are something that I miss so much from the United States. Harris Teeter's free cookies were a part of my weekly regimen.

Don't Look in the Restroom...

I woke up yesterday morning at quarter to seven and walked around London with Nicolas. It was interesting because we left without giving anyone prior notice. Maybe it's a French thing, or maybe once you become a seventeen year old guy, you can do whatever you want, but I was totally not used to having that kind of freedom to roam a large city without anyone knowing where I was. It was nice, though, because the streets were relatively empty. While there was no snow on the ground in London, the ponds in St. James Park were still frozen, so I watched a duck play slip-and-slide to cross the water.
When we returned, we all went to a Starbucks-type cafe called Pret a Manger. After breakfast, we headed over to the National Geographic store where we spent most of the afternoon. I got really excited at one point because a poster read that Jane Goodall, the lady who works with chimpanzees, was coming to speak on Sunday at 3h30. Unfortunately, the Helous told me that we were leaving town at 2h00.
In the evening we headed over to Covent Gardens where we listened to locals play classical music and watched a man juggle knives on a not-so-tight rope.
For dinner we went to a restaurant on Drury Lane. It took me the entire night to remember that it's the Muffin Man, not the Gingerbread Man who lives on Drury Ln. The restaurant was very ornamental and oriental. It's hard to describe, but there were turkish-looking rugs hanging everywhere and our server was from Kyrgyzstan. The bathroom, on the other hand, was definitely rated X. Not even graffiti, the paintings on the wall were certainly not children friendly.

We ate breakfast around eleven at a Pret a Manger, a cutsie Starbucks-type place with relatively healthy options. From there we went to the National Geographic store.

La Barbe a Bernard

Friday afternoon, Celine, Sebastien, and their five year old son Paul, family friends of the Helous, came over to the house. At around four o'clock, we all piled into their van and started the engine. An hour and a half later, we arrived at Saint Omer where we picked up Nicolas from his boarding school. A little while later, the van drove inside a train, which took us under the English Channel to Great Britian! A few hours later, we arrived at Gatwick Airport. Confused, I learned that we were leaving the van at the airport and taking the train into London where we would walk and take the metro all weekend. I am so glad! It's so much easier to people watch outside of a car.
All throughout the car ride, Paul kept calling Franck (my host dad) Bernard. This soon turned into the joke of the weekend, and now we all call him Bernard.
According to Andrea's English book, cotton candy (barbe a papa in French) is called candy floss in England. I certaintly would not want to floss my teeth with that stuff!
There must have been a foot of snow on the ground at Gatwick Airport! Except for the fact that I would have certainly frozen stiff, I had the strongest desire to flop back in the white fluff and make a snow angel!
We arrived at the hotel around 9h30. It had the best location on Westminster; the London eye, Big Ben, and the House of Parliment were all within a three minute walk from us!

Slogan

The memory loss phase has commenced. Yesterday in English class, I was working on a project with Florine and Camille and I forgot the word slogan. You would think that I could remember it in at least one of the two languages, but seeing that it is the same in both, I completely blanked. I tried to describe the word. I even whipped out my pocket dictionary and looked through the entire "S" section to no avail. It took us thirty minutes to think of it. Finally, at the end of class, I was trying to explain it again, and Camille jumped up and shouted it.
Darn brain freezes!

Duck and Cover

So, to enter the restrooms at Saint Paul, one has to walk across the courtyard and enter from outside. Today, when walking to the bathrooms, a group of guys bombared me with condoms filled with wet toilet paper. They dropped them from the window above the girl's restroom, so I never even saw it coming. I was forced to hide in the bathroom and have a friend spy to tell me when they no longer held the window open, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting victims. I then ran for my life as they hurled the nasty packages my way. If you're wondering, no, I do not know who those guys were.

To the boys here: You are making it way too easy for me to follow Rotary's no dating rule. Please, stop!