My Blog Review

So a few weeks ago, Keith (no, I have no clue who he is) reviewed my blog in its entirety on his blog. His blog, atasteofgarlic.com does nothing but review English speaking people's blogs about their lives in France. My comments on his comments about my blog will be in curlieque brackets {}.
So, voilà!

My Life in France is Madison’s Blog.

Madison says of herself… “I am a sixteen year old female spending my junior year of high school abroad in France.”

And I have absolutely no reason to doubt her!

What Madison doesn’t mention is that she’s also a bit of a blogaholic with 218 blog posts since she started in August 2010! {This whole blog thing is like a daily journal for me. It became routine when I was allowed no contact with the US for the first thirty days because of some stupid Rotary rule. No, I am not an -aholic anything, except maybe with chocolate!}

I wasn’t too sure what to expect when I started to review her blog but I was hoping that, as well as the normal Young American Girl in France stuff, I’d also find some weird bits….

And, of course, with a blog entitled My Life in France, I was also hoping for some foodie bits as well!

So, without further ado…

Let’s dive in and see what we can find to munch upon!

The early bits…

The blog starts on the 26th of August 2010 in The Airplane.

Which is where Madison met Rhonda who tells Madison that she looks like Natalie Portman, whoever she is?

After arriving in Paris it’s on to her new home where Madison says.. Bonjour, Vermelles.

And goes on to remark… “Vermelles seems to me the smallest town in the world. It does,on the other hand, have a lot of charm to make up for the lack of size. All of the houses look very similar with a French countryside sort of charm”

After doing the usual tourist thing of visiting E.Leclerc, Madison then discovers that… “The back yard has a small garden and (Dad, you’ll like this) three hens and a rooster!”

Vive la France!

The following day Madison visits le Lycee where she will be spending a year as a student.

She seemed only moderately disappointed that she hasn’t one Smart Car yet – all I can say, Madison, is wait until you discover the VSPs – and then run for safety!

In August, Madison complains about the cold! I’m surprised that no one told her about the perpetual winter that seems to engulf the Nord Pas de Calais!

It’s all she can do to shiver and say… “Je vais crever de froid cet hiver! J’en suis sur que je vais perdre mes orteils!”

Which, for those of you who don’t speak French, means… “I’m going to die of cold and freeze my toes off this winter!” {Bienvenue Chez les Ch'tis movie reference}

Vive le Nord Pas de Calais!

And, on a serious note, in Mes Livres d’Ecole, she meets Mateo the Charmeur and goes for another visit to E.Leclerc!

Which leads us rather nicely onto….

The really rather weird bits…..

I’ll start off by mentioning the Noisy Neighbour who, apparently, likes to go into her garden once a day and scream at the top of her lungs.

I’m not sure if I should tell Madison that this is quite possibly normal behaviour in the Nord Pas de Calais and, indeed, many other parts of France? {Lordie, I hope not!}

And I do wonder if Madison herself screamed at the top of her lungs whilst she was busy Ticking Off Another Toilet Tragedy? {Um, yes, I was!}

I’m really not sure what it is about girlies and toilets in France and the fatal attraction of the former getting trapped in the latter?

And I hate to ask why Madison says… I Need a Decontamination Shower STAT?

Because I rather suspect that the story would involve a Turkish Toilet (or Squatter as they are know to us long term expats!)

Of course, there’s really no excuse at all for Madison accepting an invitation to Une Fete de Justin Bieber! {I can't help the fact that I love hanging out with little kids, even if their music choices and superstar crushes don't match up to mine.}

Madison, I think your mind is being warped by all that time you’re spending in the toilets!

Although, I ought to mention, there are more educational weird things to come…

In She Noses It we learn that dinner conversations are largely about noses (and Madison has a fairly equilibrated nose, thank goodness) and Cats Don’t Like Vicks VapoRub!

Which may or may not be the case but…

I prefer to think that most cats are intelligent enough not to want to be petted by a human who is obviously suffering from a cold? Just my feeling? {Fun fact: It is scientifically proven that the purring of a cat has relaxing benefits! (If you're not allergic, of course!)}

Now (and I’m working up to the big one, it won’t be much longer) in Conspiracy! Dead or Alive? Madison pretends to be surprised that everyone in France spends all their time pondering whether Michael Jackson really is dead or perhaps, just temporarily deceased for tax purposes (we are used to that with our legend of rock, Johnny Halliday who often spends a few months of the year temporarily deceased for tax purposes!)

Personally (and like most people in France) I think that The Great MJ is alive and blogging under an assumed identity in Paris!

But then, what do I know?

I do know that Madison is going to be talked about for years and years for admitting that she uses the phrase… Yippy Skippy!

After all…

No one says “Yippy Skippy” do they?
unless they’re…

There’s no ‘unless.’ No one has said “Yippy Skippy” for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets. {They tell me I was born in the wrong generation, and my hair used to be blonde and curly!}

Exactly. Here we go again.

“Yippy Skippy”.

Perhaps it’s a disease Madison’s got? A clinical thing that she’s taking pills and having injections for- perhaps it won’t last for long? {No Comment}

Moving swiftly on to…

The foodie bits….

With a title of My Life in France I was expecting this blog to have a few foodie elements.

And, delving deep, I did find a few….

Starting with a nice appetiser of Marrons Roasting on an Open Fire followed by some Cooking Lessons from the Dog!

I wonder if it was the dog who suggested that it might be necessary to Add a Dash of Bird Feathers?

To show off her skill, Madison donned a Ladybird Apron and Pearls and cooked Coffee Cake and Zucchini Bread!

And, having done that….

She has every right to say… Just Call Me Julia Child!

Although she, quite rightly, wasn’t too keen on the cheese, as we find out in Chedder… Really, France? Really?

Which is pretty much what I think the great Julia Child would have said too!

The educational bits….

Now, just in case Madison’s parents are reading, I though I’d emphasis some of the many educational entries in this blog. Just so that they don’t think it’s all Getting Stuck in Toilets and visiting E.Leclerc!

So, Madison’s parents, I’d like to let you know that your daughter seems to be studying hard…

As you;ll be able to see from… My Life as an Extraterrestrial where she is spotted discussing with her teacher important matters of the day such as… why there are no pink calculators sold in France! {It's such a pity, too!}

And even on A Completely Uneducational Schoolday Madison has two hours of Table Tennis and then spends an hour of perm (study class) passing notes with Florine and her friend Cloe the whole time. {What else was I supposed to do with that time? Color in a dinosaur coloring book? I did not have any homework!}

Oops! Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that? Madison’s parents, if you are reading could you just ignore that last bit?

And then, in Three Hour Perm, she made paper aeroplanes and… “talked and listened to the random guys from Terminale play guitar.”

Still, there are some good results in Mon Bulletin Scholaire? even if I can’t quite see what she was marked for her paper aeroplane efforts?

But, Madison does shine when it comes to Quadratics and the Second Degree because she is asked to sing a song to the class and…

I think she only fell off the stage once!

All is not lost, though! Because, in Presque Parfait her teacher does tell us that… “students are perfectable!”

So, there’s hope, after all!

So, summing up…

My Life in France is a wonderful blog that is enthusiastically written by someone who is seeing Life in France with younger eyes than we are normally used to here at A Taste of Garlic.

The humour is apparent in posts like You Say Potato, I Say Pomme de Terre and Frenglish.

I’d advise you all to pop into My Life in France and say hello to a sixteen year old American girl who is…

a). Brave enough to spend a year in France

b). Rather fond of getting stuck in toilets and

c). Good at making paper aeroplanes! {I'm from America. I speak American (according to the French). And it's spelled airplane! haha}

And me? Well, I’m going to have a stiff talk to those boys Madison mentions in Duck and Cover.

You nasty boys, you!

You’ll never get a nice pretty American girlfriend if you carry on doing things like that!

All the best,

Keith Eckstein